I have, throughout my time, like any other biped mammal that blushes, bought into the nothingness – which if I may be so bold as to label it in any particular fashion – is life, is people, is bananas, oranges, folk songs and belly dancers. Investing into anything, calls in a debt, that thing which you owe, to yourself, to that repressed part of you, made useless, through your arrogance, and for your gain, to enjoy, in a word, a single or multitude of pleasures - or pains - which would not seem to be afforded another way. Open hands give and receive; they’ll receive nothing but crucifixion. You could see until you opened your eyes, it was then that the curtain was pulled across your head windows. But what is there better for us than to live? Is that not our drug, are we not all whores, snakes and scabs, some dressed better than others to dance under red lights for the amusement of others. The crowd thinks they’re the audience, but they’re the entertainment. It’s all a play, you shits and fags, don’t go on acting like its more. What else is there to do but to buy into people, into fads, gambles, religions, gaffers, angels, and prods? Would we not simply go mad with boredom? Are we not all mad already? It is craziness, a new found one. We don’t want to think we’re useless, we don’t want to realize what we do means jack shit, we want to matter, to ourselves most of all, but to others as well. Why? Because if everyone’s mad then no one can point fingers. Buy into the greatest drug ever manufactured by man, that is, meaning.
We're depressed before we're anything else, that is the weight of life, that is the bearing of nothingness, the cause of our need, our fiending, for drugs, for repressants, this is why we are weak. We need to mean something to live, but we mean nothing. We live like this life is meant for living, but its not, its for who can get the most intoxicated, who can forget the nothingness the most, who can buy the most into the sham and peddle the most nothingness to others. Everyones making sandcastles on the beach, some have better imaginations than others.
