the engine flexes
"you know" he starts
"yea" - I don't
"your dad never talks to me" says Kevin
"like, last night"
"when he was telling me to give Chels the finger"
"he never talks to me like that"
"I mean, we talk and all, but..."
wind-whipped hair hits my eyelashes
"but never about anything that matters"
"you know?"
"I do" - I do
"he always tells your titos he likes me"
"but I never feel it"
"he always says, "Kevin and I are buddies"
"but I mean, I don't feel that"
"we've been together for 5 years now" says chelsea
"and he's never shown any emotion"
"but that's dad" I say
sun scented street concrete glares
"all the alarcon males are like that"
"we got it from lolo"
"super stone skinned"
"strong, be strong"
"that's how we were raised"
I think of my onyx ring
"but dad does care"
"he only cares in his way"
"if he's patient with you"
"if he can stand your presence"
"that's how dad says, "i like you"
"yea, that's true" says my sister
"i've expected a lot from dad" I say
"i expected certain expressions"
"but that was my fault"
"he is who he is"
"i can't change that"
"i know he loves me"
"and that he'll try in his way"
"i can't ask for more"
the engine flexes